Building self-confidence through self-awareness

Wetumwene Shikage
Self-management is the second pillar of emotional intelligence, as described by Daniel Goleman. Following his theory, to be able to manage ourselves successfully, we need to be self-aware of our emotions and be able to self-manage them.

It is a competency that is composed by the following abilities: self-control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, adaptability, achievement orientation and initiative. In this article, we will explore how the emotional abilities of self-control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness can impact different careers.

Self-Control

We cannot control what we do not know, so the first step in having emotional self-control is to recognise our emotions and how they manifest in us. In general, they are easy to recognise and shared in different cultures, but each person experiences them in a unique way due to the individual’s experience and values. With certain emotions, we will notice how our heart rate accelerates, or we feel hot or cold, for example. These feelings could support us in identifying our emotions. The next step is to explore what causes the emotion we want to control.

Trustworthiness

In this instance, trustworthiness refers to the likelihood of undesirable events, which defines people's predisposition to engage in a trusting relationship with a person or object while assuming the perceived risks. Reliability leads us to the idea of statistical probability. For example, people feel safe when traveling by plane because they can infer, from the information they have, the low probability of the risk of accidents.

Trust, on the other hand, refers to a concrete action. Taking risks on the behaviour of the other party based on a positive expectation of reciprocity. When one person decides to trust another -based on the specific contextual situation that can lead the other person whom one trusts to honour this investment of trust.

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness is one of the five personality traits of the so called ‘Big Five’ traits in the personality theory (openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism) that is used in HR to support people decisions. A person scoring high in conscientiousness in a personality test, for example, usually has a high level of self-discipline, they are methodical and highly perseverant.

However, in the study of Positive Psychology, conscientiousness also means becoming more self-aware. By being more in tune with your thoughts, feelings and emotions, you can expand your perception of reality. Raising your awareness involves stretching your mind beyond your comfort zone to enter a deeper sense of understanding.

Being fully present, aware and attentive to the current moment, leaving the state of distraction, is a state of mind that is called "mindfulness". Explained in other words it is described as the "mental state reached when focusing on the present moment, while calmly recognizing and accepting your feelings, thoughts and physical sensations".

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